Excerpt from Fred and Wilma

As the Tables Turn

Join me today for an episode of “As the Tables Turn.” The characters, as always, will be eating and talking. The setting – a restaurant where the lights are dim and the prices are high. The characters – seated at table 1 – Fred and Wilma, married 5 years. We join their conversation already in progress.

Wilma: It certainly is nice, the two of us out to dinner, alone, Fred.

Fred: Yes, it is Wilma; it’s been a long time.

Wilma: Well, usually you’re bowling or at your buffalo lodge, instead of home with me.

Fred: Wilma, please, let’s not quarrel tonight. We’re here to enjoy ourselves.

Enter the waiter.

Waiter: Good evening folks. Our appetizer tonight, after some heated quarreling among our chefs, spicy buffalo wings.

The waiter exits.

Wilma: Fred, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about getting a second car.

Fred: A second car? Wilma, you think I’m made out of money!

Wilma: Fred, we’re the only family on our block with one car. You act as though we live in the Stone Age.

Fred: What do you need a car for Wilma? I take you every place you want to go.

Enter the waiter.

Waiter: Excuse me, our dinner special tonight – stone crabs served over linguine. Our chef picked them up while driving around town today in his hot new red sports car. Now that he has a second car he doesn’t have to drive his wife around. He’s a happy man.

Wilma: Fred, you work during the day, I’m home alone. Sometimes I get bored and lonely. I want my own car so I can come and go as I please.

Fred: So, sometimes you get bored and lonely, huh? Well, why don’t you get a job? I hear there’s a rock quarry down the road that is hiring.

Waiter: I must ask for you to speak up when addressing me as I’m having trouble hearing. This morning I had to work in my father’s quarry. Boy, I never should of told him I was bored and lonely during the day. I still have a ringing in my ears.

The waiter exits with hands over ears.